I was in the Sea Org for 23 years. I am proud of that fact and am especially proud of what I and others accomplished. My contribution is not something I want to lose or diminish because when I look at what's available out there: What other group works for such good across all dynamics?
However, I was dismissed and declared SP. I knew I had my own issues but I disagreed with the findings of my justice action and the declare. I did not speak up at the time. Instead, I decided to leave it be. I incorrectly believed this would be an easier route because, at the time, I perceived that no one in the Church would ever be willing to change their mind on the matter. For the next three years, I created a new life for myself without Scientology – and without any Scientology comm lines.
While I did have a good degree of success in starting my life all over, I knew deep down inside that something was missing and would always be missing. During this time, unfortunately, I managed to connect up with a few ex-Sea Org members who were disaffected — even a couple who where publicly attacking the Church. After a short period of time, I saw that their motives were awry, saw that their complaints were more and more exaggerated and saw how they were fixated on everything that was “wrong.”
Sure, I have seen things while on staff that I didn't agree with – things that violated what Scientology should be – but still I found no basis for attacking or harming Scientology and what it stands for. It still provides more solutions than any other technology out there, even with outnesses (that, by the way, it works to correct).
If Personal Integrity is knowing what you know, then it was time for me to speak up about what really happened in my situation. I was given a chance to do exactly that and I received a Review Comm Ev. I was given standard and fair justice during which I confronted my own responsibilities — which were great. The Committee adjudicated that the SP declare was unjust. With this sorted out, I rapidly handled my freeloader bill, got myself back in good standing and am now completing my conditions.
I have since connected up with an org and am currently on service. I am now meeting other Scientologists which opens up much more opportunity for me professionally and personally – not to mention that I can get active again on worthwhile 4th dynamic endeavors.
It doesn't mean Scientology and all Scientologists are now suddenly perfect. It doesn't even mean that I am going to personally get to Clear and OT next week. It means that I was right about my Personal Integrity – and that standard, on-policy lines do exist inside the Church. And they do get results.
My future now is brighter since I chose the right path to travel. Had I gone down the wrong road with certain disaffected individuals, continually violating LRH ethics and justice policies, who aren't interested in bringing things right anyway, it certainly wouldn't end up in a good place for anyone.
– Karen (Andres) Dippel